New Insights

My father was an alcoholic.  During the week days he was a hard working man and very good provider for his wife and children.  He taught his children how to work and it was required that we help in the garden and learn how to tend the fruit trees, berries and vegetables that were being grown. We had a nice home, a nice garden and all the necessities of life.  On the week-end while coming home from work "he would take the long way home". Which meant he would stop at the local bars to drink and socialize.  I'm not sure how he made it home many of the nights because he was so drunk.  He would stagger from his car and fall on the lawn between the car and the back door.  He would lay there for many hours because he couldn't get himself off of the front lawn and come inside to bed and sleep it off.

My whole life I have always resented my father for his drinking habits.  I resented the unhappiness that it caused my mother.  I resented having to listen to the arguments it caused and I resented the stress that it brought into our family.

Today, I received a new insight into this drinking problem.  A new insight that I have never considered before...

I took a friend of mine to the hospital today to have some out patient surgery done.  I waited for awhile in the waiting room and was reading a book on my Ipad.  A woman and her husband came to have some procedure done and the husband began a conversation.  He spoke quietly and I must admit when the conversation began I was more interested in reading my book but he soon got my attention.  I listened to him attentively.

He was talking about veterans who had fought in World War II.  He talked about how these men fought and killed in the battles against the enemy.  He talked about the experiences these men had and the experiences these men had to live with after returning home.  He told me that if he found an old war vet drunk, staggering along the side of the road begging for money so he could buy his next bottle of booze, instead of giving him money he would buy a new full bottle for him.  He had been in the war and he knew the grief and the memories that the vets were trying to forget.  He said he would do anything to help the vet forget even if it was for a short time.

My father was a Marine Raider.  He served during World War II in some of the major battles and received awards for his bravery and actions in battle. Up until that moment in my life I had never associated my fathers drinking problem with serving in the war.  I never considered that he was trying to forget the times he had to shoot someone.  I never considered the grief, the pain and the guilt that he could be having as a result of being a soldier in the war.  I guess we'll never know the truth.  I'm thankful for the new insights I received today.  I'm thankful to this quiet vet in the hospital today who taught me a new perspective and a new understanding.  Thank you,